Something tasty

So, tomorrow morning I'm heading off to Istanbul for a week. But before I go, I thought I'd leave you with your mouth watering. I'm learning to cook Turkish food. My friend is teaching me and we cook together every week. It's become quite a feat this summer because the kitchen can get a bit toasty, but it's been worth it to learn how to make my beloved Turkish culture's food. I'm coming home with some new skills.
So, after my cooking lesson, we had another friend over this week to taste the dolma (stuffed anything you want, basically...mine was stuffed peppers, eggplant, and zucchini) and let me know how authentic mine turned out. She was so ecstatic and assured me that my cooking was better than hers (sadly not a hard feat though), and that it was de-licious. I thought it could stand a few moderations. It didn't taste nearly as delicious as my neighbors dolma which is out of this world. But, it's a work in progress. My 'cooking teacher' is becoming a pro at fixing errors that she has never encountered before, than I tend to make when we cook. I don't do it on purpose, but bless her heart, if there is something I can do while she's not looking to cause a disruption to the recipe, all be it meaning well, I usually do... and then she has to figure out how to fix it. She dares not turn her back on me! She just laughs at me though because I tell her, these are necessary skills. I'm very likely to run into these very same situations when I'm making this on my own, so I need these problem solving skills! I think that she fully expects me to skype her every time that I make a Turkish dish...and I very well may need to!

Something for the Bus Driver

I've decided that maybe I need to change my bus route a bit. I'll explain. I don't have a car here, as most of you know. I take public transportation, which means I usually take the bus. It's no big deal, I'm used to it. If you don't know, I live in a city of 2 million people and I cannot even imagine how many buses there are in this city, but you know...after time you tend to see some of the same bus drivers around. Well, let me go back and give you a small transportation orientation. Okay, in Adana, there are blue buses and there are red buses.

The blue buses are in general not air conditioned and they're smaller and not as nice. The beauty of the red buses in summer is that they are air conditioned, but they are less frequent than the blue. So, in general you roll up your sleeves and let the warm breeze cool you off on the good old blue bus. And then--I'm not totally sure why, possibly because there are a large number of illiterate people in my city, or maybe just because there is a lot of unemployment in my city, or maybe for some reason that I have no clue about-- but there are bus helpers on all of the blue buses. It is an official job. They collect your coins and then at every stop, they get off the bus and holler (yes holler) out where the bus is going. If you look like you're unsure of where you want to go, they'll try to convince you to get on the bus and go where they're going. It's very amusing, but nice if you actually don't know where you're going (like I tend not to at moments). You can tell them where you're going and they'll help you get off at the right stop. On these blue buses, you can press a button above the door to signal your stop or you can just call out that you're getting off at the next stop or say the stop's name. That's what I generally do. Remember those key words, way back from the first month of my blogging..."Durakta!"

I'd say you're oriented to the buses now. So, the other day I was riding on a blue bus. On the small blue buses, there is a row of seats that sits facing the driver. So, I was sitting in this seat and before we got to my stop, and before I'd even had a chance to realize that I needed to be getting my things together to get up and call out my stop, mind you, the bus driver looked at me and said, "the next stop is yours, isn't it...". Well, I'm a foreigner and I do tend to stick out, but apparently people keep tabs on us a bit more than we realize!! I hadn't done anything to let him know I'd be needing to get off. I think he just purely recognized me and knew my stop was coming up. Now, let me tell you in a city of 2 million, full of hundreds of buses, this is not a service they offer to everyone...memorizing your stop and all! Despite my cover of sunglasses and poor Turkish accent, alas, my comings and goings still tend to draw a bit of attention. What do you do?! The day he veers off his route to turn down my street to drop me off, that's the day I'll worry! Until, then I just laughed at his efforts and said, yes, my stop is next.

Something 'bana rağmen'

So, recently I was preparing a short devotional thought for my bible study (in Turkish) and my language helper was helping me...err...well we'll call it refine my sentences. I must have said something to the effect of, 'I hope He can use my Turkish', to which she responded, He can work even in spite of you. Exact translation. (All of our conversations are in Turkish.) Hmmm, well at first I was almost offended and thought, He'll work in spite of me? Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. (so my flesh thinks.)
But, the more I've thought about it lately, the more her words have resonated in me and I've found Him drilling them into my head. They've become His words which has led me to be reminded to praise Him that He has and is working here through me and in spite of me, because He is in me. I praise Him that He works here IN SPITE OF ME...especially after some of the humble pie that I ate last week. I am telling you, the summer heat makes my attitude crummy. And I can do that fine on my own without the heat here! But, I'm working on it. He is worthy, oh so worthy of my good attitude because of all He's done, because of WHO HE IS, even when it's 95 degrees, 85% humidity, and I've had no air conditioning all day for many days in a row. He's always worthy of it and I'm trying to be better about desiring to give Him a portion of the glory He's due here in this place this summer, even in my melting moments.
I've been reminded several times this week that I am so grateful that He works in spite of me. I saw one of our neighbors in a store downtown on Monday. Her husband has been out of work for most of the summer now. We exchanged pleasantries and before I left, I made sure to tell her that we will continue to pray for her husband. We'd mentioned that we would pray for him and their family when we learned about his job loss. I tend to pray more for his soul than his job, but who knows what the Lord might use to draw them to Himself. So, when I told her we'd continue to pray for them, she said that she knew, she always knew that we were praying for them. hmmm. Praise You Father, that here in this place in spite of me, you have given me a testimony that speaks of You in this place. Praise You that You work in spite of me.

Something loud

To watch this video, scroll down to the right side of my blog to the music player and push pause. It's just a little snippet, but my Internet won't let me attach any of the longer videos. Last night, our neighbors got engaged-mış mış. There's a whole verb tense in Turkish for things that you have heard or are almost certain of, but don't know for sure because you don't have first-hand information. You add this "mış" ending on to the end of your verb to clarify that well...you weren't there, but you heard... or you didn't see it, but you know that... and so on and so on. I hardly ever use it, because well...I can't totally figure out how to use it correctly most times. The hearsay tense, if you will. I don't know for sure, I wasn't invited, and I didn't go... but guessing from what I saw and heard outside of our windows last night for a very long time, I'm assuming one of our neighbors might have gotten engaged. There are no noise ordinances in our city. Your neighbors can decide to have a raucous loud party across the street from you that doesn't start until 8:30 or 9 and might go until...who really knows when because at some point, your ears adjust and you just fall asleep in spite of the noise--thank goodness--and there is nothing wrong with it. Actually it's perfectly acceptable. And you quite expect it. So, there was lots of loud pop music and lots of dancing--some traditional, and some maybe not so traditional! Some people are dressed up and some not, some maybe a little too dressed up for a party in a parking lot, but it's still a special occasion. The noise started about 7:30 when we heard this drum banging outside our window. The sound check had begun. We knew we were in for a loud night.

I mean, really, if you have a party that we can feel like we are attending in spite of the fact that all of our windows are closed, our air conditioner is on, and we are watching a movie at full volume, then you'll have to indulge us because we are going to spy on you and take pictures! My apologies. But hanging out the window listening to Turkish pop music and trying to get a good night picture did entertain us for probably...too long. It's loud, but it's fun to watch and sometimes be a part of their traditions. If it wasn't loud and over the top, it wouldn't be right somehow!

And then sometimes, there are things that they do that aren't quite the way we would do it, and I think...that really worked in our favor. Last night, (pre-very loud lively party) I called Melissa and asked her to bring home a salad to go with our leftover lasagna. Everywhere you eat here will serve delicious salads before the meal, many times more than one, so sometimes we'll stop and pick one up for really super cheap from a restaurant we like close by and eat it as a side. Last night, she was coming home from a different direction so she stopped somewhere new. This ordering a salad-to-go and no meal is very strange to them. Why wouldn't we just make our own salad at home. We're lazy. Inconceivable. So, of course, they do not make Melissa only one salad, they make her the traditional lettuce salad, the onion salad, the roasted red peppers, and a tomato salad and wrap them all up for her. Delicious. Why would we want to make our own when we can pick up such delicious sides, I ask you. So, she gets ready to pay and they don't want any money from her. She hasn't actually ordered a real meal, so why would they charge her? I mean, she came home with a lot of vegetables! But, they wouldn't let her pay for any of them! Perhaps they felt sorry for the foreign girl who they thought possibly couldn't find her way to the grocery store? We just laughed about it. We're so strange here. We can't help but not fit in, but sometimes it just works in our favor!

Somewhere east of here

We packed our bags and headed east on a bus this past week to visit our sweet house mate from last summer and some sweet friends that we've met during our time over here. Our bus experience was...well, it was warm to say the least! At one point, the bus display read 46 degrees Celsius outside. Indulge me here. That is like 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Too hot. Much much too hot. And of course, my fine friends here tend to wear winter coats at the first hint of weather under 85 degrees, so they were more than comfortable to leave the air... almost off. Okay, riding a bus in the summer with barely enough air conditioning to breathe is for the birds! But, the visit with our friends was so much more than worth it! The further east we headed, not only did the landscape change from lush green plants and tall tall palm trees to dry brown rocky flatlands like the picture above, but the more conservative the culture around us became until we got to our final destination. In a way, the picture of the land is much more than just a picture of what the climate is concerning weather. Really, the east has such a different feel to it in this country. I can't totally explain it, but there was definitely a different feel to where we headed.

I was reading through psalm 31, and ran across this verse during my visit: "Blessed be the LORD, for He has made marvelous His loving kindness to me in a besieged city." I read that and thought, in a different way, this city is besieged and find myself praying that He will one day make His marvelous loving kindness known to more than just my friends who know Him in this city.

We spent the days sight-seeing, drinking tea with our friends, and catching up. I was reminded of the special-ness of two kinds of friends this trip, my foreigner friends and my national friends. It was so good to be around our friend, who lives and loves where we do and knows what we feel and how we feel it here. She is about my age, single, and has been living here just about as long as I have. It was so refreshing to be around this sister and the people around her. It's been a long summer. A wonderfully long summer, but it's been tiring, too. So, having some sweet time with our friend was just the encouragement I needed. Seriously, our Father has been so good to me during my time over here. He blesses me in different ways, just when He knows I need it. And I needed the Body, in this way last weekend.

And... I was reminded how precious these people are to me here that I live among, the Turks. Our precious, crazy, sweet roommate from last summer--I have no idea why--seems to love me something fierce. I have no idea what I have done to earn her devotion because it's been about a year since I've painted her toe-nails or made her a quesadilla, but her love is steadfast and was still very much in tact when we visited her. She of course, made a spread and we stuffed ourselves with our beloved Turkish food at her house. To see and be with her was like a year hadn't passed since we'd been together. It reminded me how blessed I've been by such sweet friends here like her and like the girls I love in my own city, but it also reminded me what an incredible privilege I have in these people's lives to love them and be loved by them. Someone once told me before this experience that the people's lives that I would touch would never forget me and not to forget them, either. Seems silly. Of course I won't forget them. But, last weekend, truly made me realize that I want them to know that I won't forget them. I want to let them know a year from now, much like my friend made me feel, that no matter how much time passes in between tea or toenails, they are loved and very much remembered by me. I'm still working on what that looks like in heart and action once my feet hit the pavement in Jackson. I know, time will pass and I'll start new things and be around old friends, new ministry and make a life again there. But I've walked through some serious life with these people! Especially, my girls. I've walked from the beginning of a journey of faith with some of them, and that's not something they take lightly and I don't want it to be something I take lightly either. This summer has over and over again reminded me that I'm so inadequate to do what I do over here! To love these people, but He has reminded me that His power is made perfect in my weakness and I'm just about at my best when I'm on my knees, and that's exactly where He wants me to be, to do what He wants me to do here. How do you like that for humbling, but so true! And being on my knees and letting these precious girls know that they have someone loving them and lifting them up is one privilege that I can bear from near or far and want to seek to both now more faithfully in the near and still faithfully in the far when they become my precious friends 'somewhere east of here'.

The Euphrates River

The Tigris River and the Mesopotamia Valley in the background.

Here is my proof that 'one man's trash, is another man's treasure'.

We found all of this in part of the ruins of this old church building below.

Don't worry, we made sure to tip our little tour guide. He had memorized the history of the church and after politely asking, we decided that was worth his efforts, plus he was a cute little guy!

Something dishy

Today, we celebrated a friend's birthday together after church. I love my sweet friends. I'm incredibly sentimental (end of story, in life, in general, about everything, but especially now). I just think to myself, I love these people. It's so incredible to see my sweet friends grow. I had a conversation with one of my closest friends last week about some things on my heart that I felt the Lord desired me to chat with her a bit. I had encouragement from others, but I was the closest one to actually give voice to the thought. There was potential for a bit of awkwardness because it was a bit of an accountability chat. It had gone as smooth as one can hope those things go. I shy-ed away at first, but then realized that I can't be silent about things He desires to be included in refining process of 'making of disciples'. I'm here and that was hard and it was obedient. But being a part of the discipling process requires being obedient and I'm learning that it's not always easier either. But boy does He bless obedience. He does. Even if it doesn't look like what you thought the blessing would be. So the discipleship process. There is lots of room to be used of Him in that area when you're a part of someone's faith journey from the beginning, really if you're willing to be a part of someone's journey on any part. So many of you reading are a part of mine. So, I was really nervous this week post-conversation. Praying that my friend received it and that the Lord used the words He wanted and that nothing I said was of me. I didn't see her this week and she didn't return a text and missed our girls dinner night without explanation. The people here tend to be very prideful (I know aren't we all, but in general as a people group they are very proud), easily offended, and hold grudges. All of which lead to many individual hurtles that must be worked through by the Holy Spirit once He takes residence specifically in believers' lives we see here, sometimes more so than in other areas because of attitudes engrained from growing up in a culture. So, I worried a lot this week and then this morning when church started didn't see my friend. Had I been mistaken and overstepped my boundaries? Did I mishear the Lord and my support system here of people praying for me and my friend? Had I offended her and pushed her away by what I thought had been a very small effort on my part compared to what I could have said? (I tend to over-react). Much to my relief, I turned around during a song and met her smiling face. It was just such a sweet relief to see her sweet face ready to meet mine with a smile. We had a great day together and I was reminded that although, I know there's still obvious room to grow in the area we talked about, the Holy Spirit is still working and our friendship is still very much intact. And I can totally relate to that because I look at my life and think, there is still obvious room to grow in so many areas, but He's not done with me yet,... or my friend. All back to why today, I just had that overwhelming sense again of awe over Him saving my friends here in this dark place and working in their lives right in front of me (even using me at times when I'm always unworthy of it). I love these sweet people. I love that I'm a part of their journey and that they very much in turn are a part of mine.

So, today like I said, we went out for a friend's birthday and we ate at a local restaurant. One of my friends ate what happens to be her favorite dish at the restaurant. Mumbar. f.y.i.: Mumbar=stuffed sheep intestines. The stuffing is de-lish, but you have to get over the fact of what it's wrapped up in and that there's just an interesting texture, I'll leave it at that. I have never been offered before, but today I was offered and I decided that it was high time I tried something new. I know, it's been awhile, eh? I know people in Africa and people who live lives similar to Indiana Jones probably eat things way weirder than that like monkey brains, but this was a stretch for me. It looks like intestines sitting on the table. I'm a nurse, but I don't like to look at it sitting on my dinner table. It was actually very tasty, except for the moment before I swallowed when I had to work to control my gag reflex. I managed to swallow with a smile and impressed all at the table, including myself.

Something safe

"I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year: 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.' And He replied: 'Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.'"-M.L.Haskins

I am finding myself thinking tonight about the 3 1/2 months and one long plane ride that lay before me. I always tend to think about home when I'm missing things. Our vonage phone has been broken for the past few weeks and that never tends to put me in a very good disposition. My family calls, but it's usually full of static and chats with friends are much fewer and far between when the vonage is broken. It's a small thing, a fixable thing at that--a reminder to be thankful for the ways that I can communicate with those I love on the other side of that body of water--but I'm a social person and I still have very strong attachments to those I love there, so not being able to talk to them, well, it isn't my favorite. Sometimes in my limited perspective, I tend to think that when i'm missing nouns (people, places, and things), that I must be missing out on things. I have come to realize in the past year and a half plus some odd months at this point, that I haven't missed out on a thing. I take that back, I am still realizing the full reality of the fact that I have not missed out on anything. When I'm walking with Him, I don't miss out on things. This is not how it works.
'Praise to the Lord, who o'er all things so wondrously reigneith...Has thou not seen, how thy desires have been granted in what He ordaineth'...
Have I not seen? Two years later of walking with Him intimately in this place and have i not seen?...how can I forget that I have seen. My desires have been and are being granted in what He ordaineth because my desire is to very much resemble someone like David who was a man after God's own heart, who reminded me of the promise that when I'm walking uprightly with Him...I don't miss out on things when he wrote Psalm 84. I realized today that at the end of one journey, I am very much still deep on a journey that will span much further than the plane ride from here to there, learning to realize the promise, the truth and the challenge that lie in Psalm 84:11, "...The Lord gives grace and glory. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (NASB,KJV)/whose walk is blameless (NIV)/who do what is right (NLT).
David reminded me that a walk that is upright is to walk in an attitude of: 'For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand outside. I would rather stand at the threshold of the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.' What a reminder of so many things. The things around me will pass away. They're tents, temporary. But my God has a house. He was, and is, and is to come. When I'm walking with Him uprightly, when I'm longing to be in His presence more than to dwell in the outside around me, He doesn't withhold good from me, He never has, and He will not. I have what He wants me to have right now. I can trust Him in that, regardless of what it looks like...whether it's in Turkey or America, whether it resembles what I thought I wanted or not, whether it is the same as what others have around me or not.
How precious this promise is to me as I think about all the things I love, yet all the things I could worry about in going home, if I let my mind overtake me...new relationships with old friends and family, a job, a car, money, singleness, ministry, culture shock, being understood, and so many of the things I strive to surrender daily. In surrender, i am desiring to step out into the darkness of the unknown future that is nearing and put my hand into His hand...for that shall be better to me than a light and safer than a known way. There and only there, is my yielded hand and heart safe.