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Around the World and Back.

These are two of the biggest reasons why last month, I flew across several countries, one ocean, and more than one time zone to return to my sweet home away from home. Turkey, sigh. I can't even begin to say what a precious gift this trip was.

The time that I got to spend with sweet friends, neighbors, and old teammates was just absolutely blissful. There were good conversations, lots of laughs, and more than enough hugs to go around.


My Turkish was by no means fantastic...I was a bit less intelligent than I was 2 years ago because my communication skills were lacking. BUT, I could communicate...and that's all that mattered. I did get my feelings hurt one time from my precious DVD/Perfume lady when she told the man working at the convenient store that I didn't speak Turkish over a tiny miscommunication over a band-aid. Come one now... a year and a half and I'm speaking Turkish daily for a week from 10 o'clock in the morning until 11 o'clock at night and we're splitting hairs because I forgot the word for band-aid. Of course we are (smile)... Welcome home.

Despite the many words I'd forgotten during the many months of transitioning back to America, it was so sweet to hear my friends say things like... "it's like a dream that you're here"... "I've never even been to Istanbul and you came all the way here to see us, it's so wonderful"... "we've missed you"..."we love you"..."i thought I wouldn't even be able to understand you, but we can talk", and understand every one of them. They threw parties, they took off work, they rearranged their schedules, they cooked food and didn't leave their houses all week to see me. I was so unworthy of the attention they all showered on me for the week, but I cherish the sweetness of a few relationships that picked up right where we left off months ago. God gave me sweet open wide doors to talk about life that's transpired in the past year or so in their lives and in mine, opportunities to encourage and be encouraged, and just time to be a girl with girls and women that became sweet friends in a sweet place.

My How Time Flies...

Dear Blog,

I am so sorry that I have not written you in so long. The past year has been a blur.



Well, if you are reading this then that means I actually sent out the newsletter that I am currently only in the planning stages of sending out to let you know about my upcoming trip to Turkey and you might have seen this link on the newsletter. I'll make sure and post some pictures and stories on here after I return in March from Turkey.

My sweet Turkey. I can hardly believe that it has been over a year since I returned to America. 2 years doesn't seem like that significant of a portion of life, but I have spent a few minutes just now going back through pictures and stories on here of all I experienced...and I have spent a year being home trying to wrap my mind around my journey and let it take root into the place He desired for it to dwell in my heart and I have to correct myself. 2 years can be a pretty significant piece of life if you let it. I know I'm an emotional girl at times, but sitting here reflecting, I am of course teary eyed. Turkey , you are forever a special place to me. I cannot wait to return to you for a week, my sweet city and the people who live in you that I have continued to love from afar and miss greatly...

One more serious something.

I can't read my last post without tearing up a little...or alot. I'm in America. America is my home. Home is great. Home is different. Home is new and home is the same. But, there is still a part of me that aches for the people that made up my loved ones in Turkey, and i'm learning that i hope that ache doesn't go away any time too soon.

Learning to balance two worlds has been a major transition for me. Embracing life here and still wanting to show love to my girls in Turkey is a balancing act I'm working on mastering. I'm a bit unsure of where I fit in here, but this week for the first time, I got some closure and a taste of community to come in an unlikely place. I don't know what the future holds for me in Jackson...what ministry I'll plug into, which friendships will be just the same and which ones will be different, what my routine will be, or what my life is going to look like in a month, much less a week. But, I have a job. I have a car. I have a place to live. I ate Thanksgiving dinner with my family in person, and life is good. He's good. He's faithful here just like He was there and like He was here before I left. Just a little update. Life is good. This post is a little abstract, but I'm not quite at the place where my feelings fit into a complete thought yet. When I've had a bit more time to process, I'll let you know. For now I know the journey and the blog are soon coming to an end. I'm glad you hung around for the ride. I'll try and let you in on a few more funny stories since I've been back before I totally close the blogging chapter, but for now... I'm home and it's this weird, wonderful, scary, hard, but fabulous transition place that I didn't expect to be in upon coming back to a place called home...but here I am.

Goodbye Turkey.

(below is my 'I don't like goodbyes face')
Today is my last day in Turkey. It's hard to believe. He has given me a love for this place and these people that I never would have imagined could be as strong as it is. I guess that He just gave me His love for these people. In spite of how excited I am to be coming home, I have mourned for leaving this place. It has been like a death of something in me, but I choose to think that it is hard to leave here because actually, He birthed something new in me here.

Last night, I said goodbye to my sweet American friend that I've partnered with in leading our girls' Bible study for our Turkish sisters. We have loved side by side and we have laughed as we learned to pray and share and praise in Turkish, and mean it. It was so hard to leave her, yet I'm so incredibly grateful for her fellowship and I am privileged to have served alongside her here...and selfishly I am glad that after I am gone, she and her incredible heart will remain. He's just been so good to me throughout this time of goodbyes. Yes, I have wept and I have been stressed and I have been exhausted, but He's been here beside me every step of the way. Him and His peace. Last night a new girl that has been studying the Word and claims to want to follow His Son came to our study. It was a special time of goodbye and I didn't know her, but that didn't make it awkward at all. Instead, I thought, what a special gift for Him to give me when saying goodbye to these sisters that I have walked alongside on their faith journey for over a year now. He let me see the promise of more to come through her. And I wouldn't want to leave any other way.

The hardest goodbyes to come will be tomorrow morning when my three closest Turkish friends and two American friends will drop me off at the airport. I praise Him for the time I have spent with those girls. I praise Him for calling them out of darkness into His marvelous light and I'm in awe that He let me see it and get to be a part of it in a small way. My God is so good. But one of those friends does not yet believe and that breaks my heart. But, I know that He's not done here. It is His work and when I leave, He will continue to bring it to fulfillment. I pray that includes my sweet friend that I have so desperately shared with and prayed for. My season is coming to an end in this city, but I leave joyfully knowing that these friends will continue to be a part of the next season of my life wherever it takes me to, and I will continue to give her over to Him and wait expectantly for her eyes to be opened.
My sweet Turkey, you have been so good to me and I will miss you. Goodbye for now.

Something still grateful

Today was my last day at church. I have four days left in Turkey. Four precious days to fill with love and goodbyes. I honestly don't know how to say goodbye to this place. I reached my emotional quota sometime last week and this week I'm just, well make sure there's tissue around. I'm so excited to be going home, really, I am. But, for this moment, I'm here and in the right now, goodbyes are hard. I was remembering today about a year and a half ago when I shared with you a familiar scene to me today. I watched our fellowship say goodbye to a family that had served in our city for eight years. I remember standing on the outskirts of a circle of people surrounding them, praying, saying goodbye and sending them off with such tears of joy to have been able to be a part of their lives and such sadness to see them go. I did not live here for eight years. My season lasted almost two years, but today I stood in the middle of a very familiar circle of friends that were some Turks and some not, and was overwhelmed with the love that He has blessed me with in this place. I never imagined a year ago the blessings that He would fill my life with during my time in Turkey. Today I cried and everyone in my circle cried. There was just no other way to leave. Turkey and these people have meant too much in my life to leave any other way. We have impacted each other too much to leave without a few tears. I told you that the man told a story about when asked whether he felt sad or happy to be leaving Turkey, his answer was that he was grateful. Today, amidst many tears and hard goodbyes, I am grateful. I told you last year that his answer would be mine and it was and it is. I'm still grateful. I am so grateful for the season He enabled me to live and love in Turkey. I'm grateful for what those tears represented today. I'm grateful that He loved through me and that He loved me through them. My time, I realize pales in comparison to eight years, but it was the time He entrusted to me here and I will be forever grateful for it.

Something busy

Okay. So, I will not hold it against any of you blog readers (...if I still have any at this point other than my family) for not wanting the cats. We may have found a home, so thank goodness! I have been such a poor blogger lately. My Mediterranean life has become a very busy one as it comes to an end! My precious laid-back, short notice planning, show up late, beloved Turks have succumbed to being penciled into my planner in advance. I can't help it! It's gotten so busy. Just about everyone I've ever met in Turkey has wanted to have me over or eat a meal or drink tea or just see me--which is wonderful, but busy! I'm not complaining, I'm taking tons of sweet mental pictures to last me and lots of real ones.

Yesterday I had plans to go eat, what I thought would be dinner, at my D.V.D. friend's house. I was going to go over there at 3 or 4. So I thought...okay, we'll eat dinner about 5 or so. I didn't feel bad when one of my best friends called and asked me to come to her work and eat lunch with her and her co-workers. They're so sweet and I wanted to see them again. So, I just couldn't tell her no. I tell her yes, of course even though this means I am only going to be able to stay an hour and a half and that still only leaves me a half hour on the bus to high tail it across town--which unless the bus driver has had his complete quota of tea for the day usually doesn't happen. So, I go to eat lunch and of course, it's a good one. The oily Turkish kind, but delicious. We eat and then we chat and then they want to drink tea. And then they give me gifts! I don't even know my friends co-workers well enough to merit goodbye gifts! So sweet. Then, just about the time I'm already a little late to run across town, they want to go out and buy a cake and eat cake! I apologetically tell them that I have got to go, which I feel incredibly rude doing (but what do you do! It makes no sense to Turks to have back to back plans with 3 people in one day, but I'm a busy going to America in a week kind of girl...and I don't want to tell anyone no!), but I have to leave. So, while I'm on the bus my other friend calls and tells me she hopes I won't be late (I will). Apparently, I was not keeping just her waiting...

I get to her house. She has been inviting me to her house for 2 years, but in all actuality, she has been saying she is going to invite me to her house for 2 years and now in my last week, it happens. But, not only are her parents there. Her aunt has come to see me. The neighbor across the hall has come to see me. The neighbor's son has come to peek his head in to see me and tell me that he wishes I wasn't leaving and if I weren't, could we get to know each other better (thank goodness I am leaving on that note). Then the uncles came by. Then the aunt's husband came by. Mercy. All to see the foreigner before she leaves. I'm like a booth at the fair. Maybe I should have charged per person! Anyways, I was wrong. Apparently, we were going to eat at 3:00. I'm not sure if this was lunch or dinner, but I began to literally pray that the Lord would make room in my stomach for this food. Immediately when I asked for less than a normal portion--which I can't finish on a good day--I got comments of, you don't think you're going to like it? Of course I'm going to love it, I tell them. Because even if I hate it, I'm going to shovel it in with the biggest smile on my face I can muster!

In Turkish, if you don't eat the server's desired amount for you to eat, then automatically you have not liked the dish. This leads to eating alot to be courteous. I have a drink at least 2 glasses of tea rule out of politeness. This has led to me putting on a few pounds which led to me working out all summer and not drinking caffeinated beverages to try to lose some kilos. Now, it's cold (according to them) and it's time to drink tea like it's going out of style again. In spite of my efforts which I thought had succeeded in losing a kilo or two, my friend's neighbor who came to see me who hasn't seen me since two Aprils ago at a wedding (remember the police escort--good times), told me I had filled out. I'm sorry, but this is one thing I'm just not sad to leave behind. Everyone quit watching my weight for me and telling me I've gained kilos!!! I dare you if you see me in America to tell me I've taken on kilos (which is absolutely normal conversation in Turkey). So, i might have given a few kilos this summer, but somehow according to everyone around me and partially because of them, I have taken them back on. But, I'm being polite and I'm not leaving any one of them to say I don't like their food!

Anyways, we ate. I miraculously finished my plate. We drank tea. We ate fruit. Fruit is usually the closer. It's usually the last thing you serve. So, being a bit tired after the long day and knowing my marathon wasn't over yet, but that I had stayed over 3 hours, I got up to leave. I hadn't stayed long enough. At this point though, I knew I was going home only to turn around and go to the neighbor's house and drink tea which was making for a very full day and stomach and I just had to excuse myself.

I did come home and go to the neighbor's house, who didn't understand why she had rung our doorbell every night that week only to discover we weren't home every night this week. I am telling you, I am exhausted. We're busy. So, by the end of the night, I was Turkish'ed out. Two years later, my Turkish is enough, but my brain was a bit sluggish, I'll sadly admit. Someone from home asked me the other day, if I was fluent and my answer was, 'honey, I've led a Bible study on Ephesians in Turkish'...if that's not fluent enough for my short season here, then I don't know if I can do much more! Seriously though, I could do so much better. I still become sad thinking about how much more I could have learned. But, for now no regrets. I have heard of a book that is popular in America by the name of Eat, Pray, Love. I am NOT recommending this book on here because I have not read it! Can't say what it's about, but I do love the title. When I heard it, I thought...well, that's exactly what I've done here. Were I to have written a book, I might could have named it that, but alas the title is taken. I have certainly lived and I have loved here...and if my schedule wears me out for the next seven days because these people are so desperately wanting me to leave knowing that I am loved, then so be it. I feel incredibly full...of food and love. My cup runneth over. I hope as I'm leaving that some of what's in my cup will run over into these people that I so dearly love.